When Your Child Can't Handle Stories

Books and movies for the sensitive child

Photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash

My fourth grade child was bawling over Old Yeller. This would have been understandable except that we hadn’t opened the book yet. The mere admission that a dog would die at the end of the story had left my kid in tears. And Old Yeller wasn’t the only problem. My daughter couldn’t handle any book that involved characters dying, even minor characters. Then there were movies. We’d had to pause more than one G-rated Disney film because she would cry. And here we were scheduled to learn about the US Civil War, World War 1, and World War 2 in history. It was going to be a long school year.

Except it wasn’t. I found the story that turned things around for her. Now my daughter is in sixth grade and has read many a book with dying characters, including age appropriate stories about the Holocaust. After her fifth grade school year, she asked me if she could read Old Yeller, and she even liked it. She’s come a long way.

If your child is overwhelmed by stories that involve danger and can’t handle movies with even mild peril, I feel you. It was so frustrating to have such a bright and intellectually hungry child who couldn’t handle anything more dangerous than The Boxcar Children. It was hard to find stories and movies to enjoy as a family. So today’s post is dedicated to a list of gentle stories with young and sensitive readers in mind, while hopefully still entertaining the whole family. And if you want to hear what turned things around for my oldest child, scroll to the bottom of the post. In the meantime, here are my gentle book recommendations, broken down by age:

For four years old to third grade:

• The Year of Billy Miller by Kevin Henkes. This realistic and thoughtful novel shows a transformative year for second grader Billy Miller and his key relationships.

• The Frog and Toad stories, Owl at Home, Uncle Elephant, and Mouse Tails by Arnold Lobel. These endearing stories for young listeneners and beginning readers are charming and often clever. My family bought the complete Frog and Toad collection on Audible, and all three of my children have loved listening again and again.

• Goonie Bird Green by Lois Lowry. The titular character makes her presence felt in her school classroom with her unique personal fashion and her incredible talent for telling “only absolutely true” stories.

• Winnie the Pooh and The House at Pooh Corner by A. A. Milne. It’s hard to find a book more well-written than Milne’s. Kids love the endearing characters. Parents will enjoy the delightful and witty writing. Treat yourself and buy the audio version read by Peter Denis, the only audio version approved by Milne’s son Christopher Robin Milne.

• The A to Z Mysteries and The Calendar Mysteries by Ron Roy. These books are simple, formulaic mysteries solved by kids in a small town. The A to Z Mysteries feature the older siblings, and The Calendar Mysteries are about their younger siblings. These easy books are perfect for young readers wishing to break out of picture books and the library’s Easy Reader section.

• All-of-a-Kind Family by Sydney Taylor. There are plenty of Orthodox Jewish families in New York City in 1915, but not with only little girls who dress alike. Follow the simple and sweet escapades of these four young sisters.

• The Boxcar Children by Gertrude Chandler Warner. The original story of four siblings making a home together in an abandoned boxcar is the best, but this beloved children’s book for early readers inspired more than 150 sequels. The first nineteen were written by Warner herself. In the 1990s, a new series reviving the mystery-solving skills of the four Alden children was launched. I believe that even a few more have been published in the 2010s. The 1990s’ stories are all woefully formulaic and poorly written. However, they include positive sibling relationships, enough intrigue, and so little danger as to satisfy the most sensitive reader. Many of the 1990s books are set in famous cities or interesting national landmarks. Keep it in mind if you want to introduce your child to a famous American location in an entertaining way.

• Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Some find the careful descriptions of pioneer life in the woods of Wisconsin tedious, but the gentle pacing and secure family relationships make this a classic read for any family.

For readers third grade and up:

• The Secret School by Avi. Fourteen-year-old Ida is desperate to go to high school so she can become a teacher instead of staying on the family farm in rural Colorado in 1925. When the local teacher has to leave, the school board plans to shut the school down. The only way for Ida to prepare for the high school entrance exams is to find a new teacher . . . or become one, as long as the school board doesn’t find out.

• Freddy Goes to Florida and the other Freddy books by Walter R. Brooks. These clever and funny books about the talking animals of the Bean Farm have kept our family entertained for hours. If Freddy the pig isn’t on a road trip, he’s probably running his detective service with Mrs. Wiggins the cow, or maybe he’s editing his newspaper or taking on local bad’uns or perhaps some international spies. These books are good, clean fun.

• The Year of the Baby by Andrea Cheng. Anna Wang needs a science fair project. She’s also navigating life as one of the few Asian kids in her fifth grade class. But most troubling, her newly adopted baby sister is struggling to gain weight. This sweet read shows the power of creative love among friends and family.

• Frindle, The School Story, and About Average by Andrew Clements. My family listened to Frindle on a road trip, and both children and adults were charmed by this funny story of a boy who invents a new word, the teacher bent on interfering, and the heart-warming ending. Clements’ other books are very good, but it’s hard to get better than Frindle.

• Ginger Pye and Rufus M. by Eleanor Estes. The Moffat family never has a dull moment in the 1910s in the United States, especially not if their beloved dog Ginger Pye or if the youngest Moffat, Rufus, have anything do about it. (Note: Ginger Pye won the Newbery Medal and Rufus M. is a Newbery Honor book).

• The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame - Like Winnie the Pooh, this is a classic for a reason. It’s difficult to decide if the brilliant characters or the charming writing style is more delightful. Very young readers will struggle to keep up with the vocabulary, but older, sensitive readers will delight in this gentle but hilarious tale that celebrates friendship, nature, and home.

• The Nutcracker and the Mouse King by E. T. A. Hoffman. This fairy tale is overshadowed by the ballet it inspired, but the original story is well worth enjoying. Although there is a battle scene, it mostly involves toy cannons and hurling shoes. Only the evil, seven-headed rat king and his wicked mother come to their deaths in this imaginative tale.

• In the Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson by Bette Bao Lord. Shirley Temple Wang is new to the United States from China in 1947. This cute story tells how she begins to become an American, helped by her kind parents, her new friends, and especially by a newfound love for Jackie Robinson and baseball.

• Love, Mary Elisabeth by Christy Martenson. Mary Elisabeth has to stay with her aunt’s family in rural Washington while her mother recovers from tuberculousis in a santiariom, and her father works. This book is a compilation of the letters between this sweet heroine and her loving parents. Spoiler alert: Mary Elisabeth’s mother does not die, and this book is safe for sensitive readers.

• The Mitchells: Five for Victory by Hilda Van Stockum. When Mr. Mitchell leaves to serve in Europe during World War 2, he tells his oldest daughter Joan “no dogs.” This is the story of how the Mitchells pull together as a family and find a few furry friends along the way as they wait for a joyful reunion with Mr. Mitchell.

• The Encyclopedia Brown books by Donald Sobol. For the mystery lover who doesn’t mind a dip into 1950s America, this book is a serious of short stories that test to see if the reader is as clever as the great boy detective.

• Henry Huggins by Beverly Cleary. Few writers are as relatable to growing kids as Beverly Cleary, and Henry Huggins helped kids everywhere, especially boys, to love reading. But don’t be surprised if your kids start begging you for a dog.

• Justin Morgan had a Horse and The White Stallion of Lipizza by Marguerite Henry. The queen of horse writing has some books with peril, but these two gentle stories tell of the ancestor of the great Morgan horses and of the work of one young man to become one of the famous riders of Austria’s stunning Lipizzan horses.

• The Great Turkey Walk by Kathleen Karr. When fifteen-year-old Simon Green ages out of school, he decides to make a life for himself herding hundreds of turkeys out West to Colorado to start a new life. This funny and endearing story will make you appreciate the virtues of a turkey ranch and true friendship. Note: Simon’s biological father is not a good man, but the book shows that virtuous family relationships are still necessary, even if they don’t come in our lives by blood or the way we expect.

• The Adventures of Sir Lancelot the Great by Gerald Morris. It is impossible to be scared by the battle scenes in this wacky and hilarious story of King Arthur’s finest knight. This book will make kids laugh out loud.

• The Hundred and One Dalmatians by Dodie Smith. If you’ve only ever watched the Disney movie, you may be surprised by the extra characters in this delightful novel that tells the rescue of dozens of dalmatian puppies from the wicked and fur-obsessed Cruella Deville.

• Red Sails to Capri by Ann Weil. This books tells the tale of a boy on the island of Capri in 1826 as he helps his parents make a living taking in visitors. The family finally gets the chance to host wealthy tourists, but when one of them decides to visit the shunned and supposedly cursed local cave, Michele’s family finds they may be ostracized from their community forever.

Here are my best tips about movies for the easily overstimulated child:

1. Children’s films made in the 1960s and 1970s are often a safe bet because they are calmer and slower-paced. You can see a marked difference between the Disney films from the 1960s and 70s and the more frenetic films of the 80s and 90s. We enjoyed Robin Hood, Pollyana, Cinderella, Mary Poppins, The One Hundred and One Dalmatians, and Aristocats, among others. But of the films we found that worked for us, the safest, calmest film we found was Milo and Otis. Growing up, I was literally the only child I knew who didn’t find this film completely boring. Since it featured live animals, I adored it and still do. All of my easily overstimulated children have liked it.

2. Keep the mute button and a soft blanket handy. When you decide to expose your kids to more perilous adventures, start with movies at home, not at the theater. If your kids get overwhelmed, try muting the movie first before you pause it. Some kids may feel more upset by suspenseful music than they do seeing the images. If the music is off, the kids have more bandwidth to watch the film. If the images themselves are too much, well, you’re never too old to bury your face in a fuzzy blanket.

For those of you who made it to the end of this post, here’s how I helped my daughter love books with peril and even death:

“After your sisters go to bed, I’m going to read this aloud to you,” I said. “Some of the characters die, but you have to listen to this, and I think you’ll even like it.”

I was holding The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkein. My child was still nervous, so we compromised: I told her in advance who lived and who died, and she agreed to sit through the story. Knowing what to expect helped my daughter resign herself to the losses of the ill-fated characters. The fantasy world made the danger seem bearable because it was so far removed from real life. My child worried about many things, but the possibility of goblin attacks were not one of them. The adventure and humor were so enticing that my daughter ended up loving the book. She hadn’t known she could feel that way about books with characters who died before, and it changed things for her. She was able to give other books with peril a chance, like Redwall and The Green Ember.

If you think your child is old enough to be eased into more perilous stories, start them with fantasy, which makes the danger seem less real and easier to bear. If you need a list of good fantasy books, well, stay tuned for my next post.

Thanks to Cherry, who requested this list for her beautiful kids! My sincere apologies that I’ve been AWOL for the last few months. To make up for it, I plan to send another post this month.